So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
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