She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
Randomize
