Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
