I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
