I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
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College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
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they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
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