i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
