TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
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