My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
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