We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
Randomize
