how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
Randomize
