the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
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Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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