WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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