I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
Randomize
