You're a womanizer and a bitch.
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
Randomize
