Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
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