We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
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