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this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
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