around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
