Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
where are my pants?
in the oven.
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