My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
Randomize
