I feel like I'm in dance class right now
You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
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