i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
