My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
what day is it and did you see me today?
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
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