oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
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