normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
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