i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
Randomize
