I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
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