you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
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