why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
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