Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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