So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
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The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
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It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
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