I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
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