apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
Randomize
