My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
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