Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
Randomize
