I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize