I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
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