Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
Randomize
