The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
It's never too late to be topless.
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
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