I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
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