Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
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