We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
Randomize
