My room smells like vodka and shame
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
Randomize
