i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
Randomize
