Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
Randomize
