I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
Randomize
