We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
I want her autograph on my taint
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
