and you said cock pushups were impossible
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
Randomize