We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
Randomize