Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
