so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
