just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
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