Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Randomize
