Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
Randomize
