I'm at some bar in brklyn... just made out with a guy named Owen.
He is a pre-school teacher... just sang me a song about weather.
it was like his penis was on wheels.
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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