Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
Randomize
