If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
I'm going to invent an ap that tests your stress levels before texting and will say something like "nope, go rub one out and try again in 10 min"
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
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