he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
Randomize
