I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Randomize
