erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
Everyone says I win the strip club
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
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