After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize