Little spoons don't ask big questions
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
Randomize
